Master Class

Growing up I always looked to women... more specifically strong, black women for motivation in life.  I grew up in the South and though proudly Puerto Rican, there weren't many of us (Latinos) were I lived and though I didn't fit in the "white" world and I didn't necessarily fit into the "black" world, I always found myself admiring the plight, the success, the strength of strong women.  Strong, Black women.  Maybe it was because their stories often mirrored mine the closest-- abuse, rape, homelessness, struggle.  Or maybe it was simply because they were the ones who spoke out about it the loudest. With the most fervor... and if nothing else, I admired that.  I'm not sure the exact reason, but it became my way. My way of coping with whatever I was going through... I looked to them to find the next answer that I was in search of.  And without fail, somehow, the answers surfaced.

These two women above sit very high on my totem pole of admirable women-- admirable strong black women.  And I'll tell you, I wasn't always an Oprah fan-- I've always loved Maya Angelou... her honesty about her sexual abuse helped me find the voice in my own, but Oprah... Oprah I wasn't so sure about. At points I felt as though she was overrated and worshiped a little too close to God for my taste and I felt like I would be a sheep to "follow" her.  Over the years I've found myself watching her more, but it really wasn't until her final season and the start of the OWN Network that I took a closer interest to what she had to say.  More specifically the show "Master Class."  -- Her special on Maya Angelou was amazing.  But honestly, that didn't surprise me-- it was Maya Angelou...  she speaks and I feel like the world stops moving.  Her presence is such a calming one that I expected nothing less then greatness.  But when I heard Oprah was doing one on herself, I had my doubts.  First, to be interviewing herself, would be her referring to herself as a "Master" which I guess is fine, but added to my thoughts on her having a slight over inflated sense of self worth-- but I decided to DVR it anyway-- after all, she is an influential person of our generation.  How bad could it be, right?  Within the first 2 minutes of the show my appreciation for her grew to sheer admiration.  I know that millions of viewers say this on a daily basis, but man that woman is amazing. I know it sounds fickle and maybe even slightly absurd, but her words were so timely for me:

Listening to her speak... "for ME it would have been a slow death" -- I couldn't agree more.  At times I feel like I'm dying a slow death waiting to figure out what my next move will be. How my professional story unfolds.  I know that clip was just a teaser, but if you haven't seen the show, I'd strongly recommend watching it.  It is so worth the hour spent.  I've watched it about 15 times-- as well as Maya Angelou's interview.  I think my favorite part of her interview was her thoughts on finding what you are passionate about and sacrificing for it:

“I had loved to dance. I was a dancer and then my knees went bad and I had to give it up.  As a young woman the only thing I ever loved was dancing and writing. I didn't love singing. I wouldn’t sacrifice for singing. You can only become great at that thing you are willing to sacrifice for. Miss Holiday [Billie Holiday] was visiting me in the mid-Fifties in Hollywood (I was singing for a living).   And, she asked me, “Do you want to be a great singer? You want to take my place?” I said, “No Ma’am. No Ma’am.”  She said, “You’re going to be famous. You’re going to be famous, but it won’t be as singer.” So, when Miss Holiday said I wouldn’t be famous as a singer I thought, ‘What a drag’.  And you know what? She was absolutely right.” 

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I guess it is pretty obvious what is on my mind a lot as of lately -- I'm in a pretty stringent transition. I'm great at what I do-- I really am. But what I do isn't great for me. And that has become the conundrum of my life these days.  How do you know when it's time to move.  Well according to Oprah in her Master Class interview-- it's "the whisper" -- you always know when it's time to move on because of the whisper.  I know I hear the whisper... I've been hearing it for about 3 years now... but it's the sacrifice-- what is it that I'm willing to sacrifice for?  I know my passions: Writing, Women, Children, Advertising. How do I meld those?  I don't want to just take off, quit my job and try and save the world-- that's not what I'm after.  I'm great at what I do... it's just not great for me.  How do you know how to answer the whisper? Hell, how do you know when to answer the whisper?

I kinda wish I had Oprah and Dr. Angelou on speed dial.

xo