With Love, Tiffy

Dear Salon, Thank you for putting the pretty brown highlights in my hair. I absolutely love them-- they are subtle, yet sassy.. pretty yet fierce. Though, because of you now I not only get asked if I am Indian, Pakistani, Dominican or Ethiopian.... now I've been asked 4 times if I'm Egyptian.  I wonder what people will think I am if we go lighter... say BLONDE.... I bet then everyone will know that I'm Puerto Rican :).

Dear Dust, I killed you three times this week and I must say you are one hard little sucker to keep down.  I bought some plants to assist in your extermination, let's see how this goes.

Dear Plants, I know historically we've not been great friends... my green thumb is a little shaky, but I'm taking a stab at your presence in my home once again to not only look pretty, but to soak up some of the dust in my house. I'm trying to be domestic and dust like a good housewife regularly... that said, can you please, please not die if I forget to water you. We must, we must, we must decrease the dust! Remember:  an enemy of my enemy is my friend. Let's be friends... Shall we?

Dear Shoes, I admit it. I have too many of you. I truly do.  I am endeavoring to wear each and every one of you between now and the end of the year. If I can't find a way to make any of you work with my clothes, no matter how pretty you are? You must go.  I know you look pretty all lined up in my closet and across my walls, but we must find some other pretty toes for you to fit in.

Dear Shoes...again, The aforementioned is my plan. I can not promise I'll stick to it.  But I promise to try. Unless you decide you need me and then, well then I can't fathom giving you up for adoption.

Dear Boss, You and me.... we're not quite on the same page lately and though we've spoken about it, I don't quite think you get the gist of things. That's okay though because Summer Fridays are going to start soon, so I'll stay on your good side so I can frolic in the summer sun at ease....... that is until Labor Day.  :)

Dear Back, Girl you are HOT.  I know it's probably conceited and all to reiterate this to you since you know, you're mine and all... but I've been watching you and I gotta say, I like what I see.  We'll make sure to expose more of you this summer, but not too much you know... gotta keep some of that sexiness a secret!

Dear American Airlines, I hate you. I hate that I have so many miles with you. I hate that you are always delayed. I hate that you charge for stupid stuff like breathing air on your plane, I hate that you have so many connecting flights. I hate that your seats seem to be shrinking. I hate that at 5'2" I can notice this. I hate your inconsistencies.  But I can say that all of your inconsistencies make me laugh seeing as how you're "American" Airlines and inconsistency IS in fact, the American way.  Sadness.

Dear 4th of July, I have big expectations of you this year... I truly do. Don't let me down, please. I intend to barbecue and bake my little heart out, to establish a tradition for years to come with those that mean the most to me... so please, for the love of all that is holy help keep the attitudes and frowning faces away on your great weekend. Thaaanks boo!

Dear Universe, the last time we spoke I asked you not to give me any more weddings this year because I anticipated many more baby showers to follow these said weddings........ and well you're just a humorous little sucker aren't you?  5 babies on the way...........and counting.  THAAAAAAAAANKS.

Dear Preggers friends,  I love you all and promise to truly try to be original in my gift giving. I swear.  But you know... if you happen to see your Baby X and so and so's Baby Y having the same little thingamajigs on? Just nod and say "awww that's so cute" -- don't blow my cover. Mkay?  Love you, Mean it.

Dear Alicia, the most important preggers of them all -- I am so, so very proud of you. You're going to be walking across the stage very soon to accept your degree and I can't begin to express how it makes me feel to know that a little piece of my heart is truly all grown up.  Your big sis loves you girl... More then words can ever say.... and just in case you doubt it or for one second doubt your abilities to be better than all the rest, I'm putting it out there for the world to know... You miss thing, are phenomenal.

With love,

Tiffy