The first little love of my life.......

"Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart"

Alicia... 15 months old.
"everything great in life starts with a single step"

I've not yet had the pleasure of being a mom.... but I have been blessed enough to help raise a beautiful little girl.... my baby sister, Alicia.  Though our life was not the most idyllic, there were many ideal moments and though we didn't come from much, I made a promise to her... to myself long ago to protect her and give her everything I could. To take care of her. To raise her as though she were my own.... because she was..... my own. My sister.   Hers was a little life that was tampered with unfairly. A little life that I assigned myself the task of piecing back together.  A little life that all of the odds in the world were against.... a little life that proved everyone wrong... including herself.  A little life that proved me right. The first big moment in her life was high school graduation... I had moved away after her junior year and she wasn't sure how she would make it without me there to take her to cheerleading and track, to correct her papers, to talk to her teachers, to give her advice about boys, to hold her hand when she needed.... but we made it work.  Relentlessly we made being hundreds of miles away from each other seem like we were still only separated by a bedroom wall.  I thought the day that I watched her graduate from high school was the happiest day of both of our lives......

High School graduation... 2005

.....and then this past Saturday occurred.  My baby sis. My sister, who is not a baby anymore, but a mother of 2 (almost) babies graduated from college. She completed the first stage in her nursing program and she's well on her way to becoming an RN.  I can't tell you  how proud I am of her. I imagine the day I birth a child and watch them walk across the stage and accept their diploma, I'll feel something similar, but this? This was different. See Alicia could have given up a long time ago.  Many times in her own eyes, she thought she should have given up a long time ago. For every step forward she took, she constantly felt like another one set  her back.... at one point, she actually felt like she had hit the lowest point in her life..... it still breaks my heart to think about it.....that point was the lowest point in my own life.  But thank God for that moment, because it was then... it was overcoming that point that allowed something to snap in her. She finally believed what I believed all along.... in herself.   

7 months pregnant with baby #2... And a college graduate!

Alicia, I am so very proud of you. I have no idea what it takes to be a birth mother, let alone a single mother...but in many ways I feel like I am your mother.... like you are my child..... and no matter the hardships, I would change absolutely nothing about the story that got you to where you are now.  You've overcome so many obstacles and you've proved every naysayer wrong and my God did you do it in the most amazing way possible. What you went through wasn't easy and the fact that you not only overcame it, but you used it as a catalyst of growth and success and towards something positive speaks to not only the woman you have become.... but the woman you will continue to be.  Your daughters are lucky... blessed... to have a woman like you to call their own.  I admire you so very  much....the world is yours baby girl.  Never, never, never give up. Always believe in yourself and know that if the moment strikes you for even a tenth of a second..... long enough to allow doubt to creep inside of you...... please allow yourself to remember that I will always be  here. I will never let you fall.  It's you and me baby girl....

....Forever and Always.

Your Big Sis,

Tiffy

xoxo